dragondicks:

I went to smell my bra this morning to see if it was gross and for some reason the instructions got fucked up on the way from my brain and I ended up putting it to my ear and just listening to it for a second. Idk how my brain thought that would help, like if I could hear the ocean it’s time to put on a clean bra

(via vanyasaidgayrights)

• radio: doh
• me: not again
• radio: doh doh doh, doh doh doh
• me: this is the 73rd time today
• radio: doh doh doh, doh doh doh
• me: THIS HIT THAT ICE COLD MICHELLE PFEIFFER THAT WHITE GOLD

latteos:

latteos:

I just walked past someone really hot lord help me

It was a mirror. Self confidence is key kids

(via heather-cubed)

(via heather-cubed)

friendfrog:

moonlandingwasfaked:

gracielovesjesus:

2015: Man-on-man marriage
2017: Man-on-child marriage
2019: Man-on-dog marriage
2021: Man-on-car marriage
2023: Hopefully the world ends by then tbh

I wish this entire blog was an elaborate troll but it sounds too much like a racist grandma to be fake

2021 can’t come soon enough i can’t wait to marry and then fuck a car

(via heather-cubed)